


I took the stars from my eyes, and then I made a map

by tribbled



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sailor Moon Fusion, Bucky is not Tuxedo Mask but he does a good job filling in that role in usefulness, Darcy is Sailor Moon, F/M, Jane is Sailor Mars, other Sailor Guardians pending, playing fast and loose with canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-02-18 08:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13095957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tribbled/pseuds/tribbled
Summary: Darcy Lewis, by occupation, feeds and waters scientists and provides comedic relief for her intense friends (i.e. the scientists three, Erik, and sometimes Thor). By night, she moonlights as a mysterious, interplanetary guardian of love and justice, Lady Moon. Which sucks, because keeping it a secret means she misses out on the superhero pay she needs for student debt. But Luna, the talking cat that showed up when she was 14, says she needs to find a missing princess and an all-powerful crystal. Maybe she’ll do a Han Solo and demand a reward afterward. At least, that thought keeps her going despite the nearly dying and facing more terrifying, more world-destroying enemies each day.





	1. Your shadow follows me all day

Two huge purple talons held Darcy down onto the cold tile by the throat. She choked and tried to lift the moon staff but the handle was slippery in her fingers and she couldn’t get a good grip. Too much sweat, too much blood from the cuts scattered across her bare upper arms and face.

It was an ordinary Friday night for Darcy and she had gone through all the motions. Fed and watered the scientists. Hightailed it out of Stark Tower when Luna’s sensors picked up Bad Monster Vibes. Followed Luna’s sensors to a fancy boutique that had been ransacked by aforementioned monster. Transformed. Fought.

But the stupid fancy bird-hat monster lady controlled long sheaths of fabric and Darcy dared anyone, Avenger or Avenger-unaffiliated superhero, to fight through curtains and see how they do.

Little black spots studded the store and the huge, busty purple bird lady above her blurred. Darcy’s throat was burning. She thought: Mars can probably handle this when I die in a few seconds. She’ll just burn the whole place down and it’ll be fine.

Through the rushing sound in her ears, Darcy heard a distant shattering. The bird monster lady screamed and jerked back, releasing Darcy’s throat in a rush of air.

Darcy took no time scrambling to her feet, her armored boots slipping against heaps of fabric. The monster bird lady had fallen against the glass countertop and was scratching frantically with her hybrid-human-bird-wing arms at a bullet wound in the meat of what would’ve been her calf on a human. It was the leg that had held Darcy down—someone had shot the monster at a point right above her. The window to the street outside had shattered.

The door opened, and somehow the bell was still attached even though the store inside had been destroyed. Mars rushed in, her brown hair shining under the florescent lights. Her Roman-ish armor glinted iridescent red and silver.

“Lady Moon! Sorry I’m late! I’ll distract her while you set up.”

Without any other social niceties, Mars closed her eyes and steepled her index and middle fingers close to her face. In front of her fingers and furrowed brow, a ball of flame ignited mid-air and grew, shooting toward bird monster’s face.

The purple bird monster screamed and thrashed as the fire bloomed over the feathers on her shoulders and arms, the counter smashing apart underneath. Her taloned feet slipped on glass and scattered name brand purses and the bird monster fell onto her butt in a truly Darcy-like move. This wasn’t bird monster’s day.

Darcy gripped the moon staff firmly, and drew a circle wide into the air around her. When she finished the circuit, the invisible line she had drawn became visible, shining with a silver light. Holding the moon staff straight into the air, Darcy closed her eyes and drew deep into herself. It was like falling, every time. Except she was falling up instead of down and the night sky spiraled out above her like a warm embrace, like the close, soft dark underneath her mom’s quilt. She was alone in the quiet. The power thrummed under her skin like a quick heartbeat.

“Moon healing escalation!”

The words released the energy. The bird monster was plunged into a dazzling silver light. She screamed and as she threw up her hybrid-wing arms, tendrils of dark purple smoke spiraled off her like a long apple peel. The purple smoke burst, obliterated by the silver light. The formerly-possessed shop attendant collapsed and the silver light flicked out. The florescent lights of the store seemed weak and watery in comparison.

“Lady Moon! Are you okay? Your throat looks… uh, terrible,” Mars said, rushing up to Darcy’s side. Darcy ignored her and ran to the door, throwing it open. The bell chimed a second time.

Untransformed Darcy couldn’t have seen it. Lady Moon did. On the opposite side of the street, on top of a Starbucks in a shorter building, was a figure. Hard to make out at night, even with the city lights, but visible. He was wearing dark clothes, his shoulders were broad, his hair tied back, and the lower half of his face was obscured by a mask.

“The Winter Solider. Again?” Mars said behind Darcy.

Darcy stepped out of the store and onto the sidewalk.

“Hey, Cyborg!” she shouted.

Darcy could hear Mars face-palm behind her.

The Winter Solider stilled, like an alley cat that was trying not to be seen.

“Yeah! I’m talking to you! Thanks for the save! But if you ever want to come down and actually, I don’t know, fight the monsters or work with us or even tell us what the hell you’re doing in our business, I won’t bite!”

The Winter Soldier didn’t respond, he just slunk off like the asshole he was.

“You know,” Mars said in her I’m-being-the-practical-one tone of voice, “if you want to make friends, I don’t think yelling at him angrily is going to do it.”

Darcy threw up her hands and said, “Come on, let’s go hide behind a building like drug dealers and de-transform.”

 ***

When Darcy looked like Darcy again and Mars transformed back into a sleep-deprived Jane just off a science bender, they went to a 24 hour supermarket.

There were a few stragglers in the store, but they had it mostly to themselves.

“I’m thinking peanut butter cookies. Ooh, you know, with the chocolate kisses pressed into them!” Darcy said as she swung the cart into the baking aisle.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything for your throat? I know you healed de-transform but doesn’t it still hurt?” Jane said, biting her lip. She threw in a packet of Butterfinger bits that Darcy knows she’ll eat straight before they see the inside of any baked goods.

Darcy didn’t mention that if Jane had backed her up earlier, her throat wouldn’t have been grabbed in the first place. Jane was always there for her, day three and onward of science benders were the only exception. As long as Darcy wasn’t killed to death, she was willing to forgive her bestie.

“I was thinking of taking a sick day anyway and the Batman voice I’ve got going will sell it.”

For as much food as the Avengers got through, they didn’t seem to believe in baking supplies. Darcy knew that she got oil and flour a few weeks ago but she decided to stock up again. Travel fare, baking supplies—her ridiculous Stark scientist-babysitting paycheck could pay for it all and then start thinking about paying off her student loans. Sometimes it still made her want to cry.

“Darcy! Can you remember, at least once, that I’m your boss?”

Darcy stopped and held a packet of butterscotch chocolate chips up in front of Jane’s face.

“Technically, Pepper Potts fills out my payroll. And if you play hooky with me, I’ll make you your own batch of blondies and let you binge Buffy with me. Eh, get it? Eating blondies and watching our favorite blonde?”

Jane looked tempted for a second but then her face scrunched up.

“Buffy is not my favorite blonde. And aren’t the kiss cookies for us?”

Darcy turned out of the baking aisle and headed towards the milk and eggs. Jane huffed and followed.

“Dude,” Darcy said, waving a hand that nearly collided with Jane’s shoulder. “I do so much for my scientist ducklings, you can take a break from the sweets. No, I’m going to leave this in the Avengers’ kitchen.”

“For the Avengers.”

“Uh huh.”

“For Barnes.”

Darcy stopped and glared. Jane raised one eyebrow and then another. Darcy thought that maybe she was trying to waggle them suggestively, but instead she looked deranged. No, just no.

“Please never do that with your face, ever again.”

“You know, Luna told us not to fraternize with the enemy.”

“Okay, first of all, you know Luna told us that because Thor broke your heart and you were a mess for months—”

“I was not a mess—”

“You were, Janey, you were such a mess, a hot mess. Secondly, that hasn’t stopped you from doing nookie with the big guy since he’s been back.”

Jane shrugged. “The mission does come first for me, and Luna knows that. Besides, I’m not sure if we’re seriously back together.”

Darcy wanted to laugh but looked at milk instead. Jane could act as casually as she wanted, but things in the lab always short-circuited or caught on fire when Thor left on his space escapades. In the year of radio silence, Jane’s UST and worry had made her brutal when she faced down monsters.

“But that is beside the point,” Jane said. Crap, she had that practical-tone again. “I trust Barnes. We know he’s loyal to Captain America. I’m not sure about the Winter Solider. Hydra is involved with the enemy somehow and we can’t let our guard down.”

Darcy wondered when they started making distinctions between people’s on and off field personas. She did it too—not with herself, really, but with others. Jane wore flannel, had bags under her eyes, unkempt hair, and was beautiful and brilliant. Mars was well-kept (magic worked wonders), and took Jane’s conviction to a lethal level. Barnes was the guy that shuffled after Cap in the tower with haunted eyes, had soft sweaters, and rarely spoke. The Winter Soldier was this asshole shadow that swooped in, helped her at the bare minimum amount someone could help her, and then fucked off to wherever it was he went when he wasn’t in the tower.

“So what you’re saying is, be impersonally nice to Barnes but don’t flirt with the Winter Soldier.”

“Yep.”

“Got it.”

She'll probably fuck that up too. Lord knows that she's been a disappointment to Luna and their epic space destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been watching a lot of 90s Sailor Moon lately.
> 
> Since in this AU the Guardians were not reborn as Japanese school girls, the Guardians are going to be referred to as Lady [Insert Planet], not as Sailors. Apparently the Sailor thing came about because Japanese school uniforms were based on Navy uniforms? The things you learn on the internet (I know nothing).
> 
> I’m basing this mostly on the anime, since I’ve never read a manga in my life. I’m referring to the moon stick as the moon staff because it sounds better, even though I feel like I’m missing out on some great euphemisms by doing this.
> 
> If you haven’t seen the Sailor Moon anime, or just want to be edified again, please watch this short youtube clip as visual reference for the Moon Healing Escalation attack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eioFWT7pEEk


	2. If you call me, I'll pick up, know I shouldn't, but I can't give up as usual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Lady Moon met Lady Mars (their combo name is Lady Moors? Lady Man? Lady Moorn? Do they even need a duo name?).
> 
> Plus, in the present, Darcy won't say she's in love.

**Outside Puente Antiguo, 2011:**

It was just her luck that a monster would appear during the first week of her internship.

“Luna!” Darcy shouted as she vaulted over rolling desert. Probably running into the desert was dumb, but running away from the cactus monster lady throwing needles was top priority. Also, getting it away from other people was good, she guessed. “Why the hell are these things following me!”

Luna was a streak of black against the dusty ground as she ran alongside Darcy.

“You’re their enemy! And they know we’re looking for the same thing as them!” Luna shouted, then mewl-shrieked as she hurtled down a sudden drop in the ground. Darcy, who had been following mere feet behind, tripped and rolled down after her. The ground was hard, dust got everywhere, and her back, arms, and ass throbbed from hitting the hard, dusty ground.

“Succ-u-lent!” the monster cried above them. They always shouted their names, or titles maybe? Darcy would laugh at them if they weren’t terrifying and constantly trying to kill her.

Next transformation, she was going to concentrate and summon chainmail leggings or something, because she has needles sticking into her where there should never be needles. Pinpoints of hot pain bloomed up and down her thighs.

The ground shuddered with each stomp of the monster’s huge, trunk-like cactus legs. Darcy struggled to get to her feet. Oh boy, her thighs were numb. The needles must’ve been venomous. Great, just great.

Her legs wobbled with adrenaline and venom, her knee-high, armored silver boots knocking together.

“Luna, we have a problem.”

Luna shook herself and leapt to crouch at Darcy’s feet, a low growl rumbling out of her throat. The monster stomped forward one last time, the hot sunlight creating a dark outline on the high ground above them. The cactus monster lady heaved one of her cannon arms up and pointed it straight at Darcy. Darcy held her arm guards up in front of her face, squeezed her eyes shut, and braced herself.

The squeal of tires broke the relative quiet of the desert.

Darcy pulled down her arms and stared in shock as the jeep collided with the bright green cactus monster lady and knocked her down. The monster’s high, sharp yelp echoed around them.

Jane threw herself out of the jeep and skidded down the decline to Darcy.

“Darcy! What is that thing—what are you  _wearing_?”

“Jane!” Darcy clutched at Jane’s arm when she was in reach. “You have to get out of here. Now!”

“Wait, she recognizes you!” Luna said.

“What?” Darcy said.

Jane’s face drained of color. “Darcy… your cat is talking.”

The cactus monster lady screeched. Over Jane’s shoulder, Darcy could see the monster rise to its feet again, her head and torso tiny in comparison to her huge, blocky limbs.

“Humans aren’t able to recognize you when you’re transformed,” Luna said, talking fast, urgently.

Darcy felt something in her chest expand, even as she lost all feeling in her legs. She met Jane’s eyes, which were dark and wide and determined, even in their confusion. Darcy had only known Jane for a week, but she had never met anyone so focused and certain of themselves.

Darcy didn’t know why she did it, but she lifted her right hand and placed the pads of her index and middle finger on the middle of Jane’s forward. Warmth surged through her arm. When Darcy lifted her hand away, a symbol appeared in the middle of Jane’s forehead, glowing red.

Luna gasped. She said, “Jane, I need you to put a hand in the air and repeat after me. Say: Mars Power Make Up.”

“Excuse me?” Jane said.

 “Just do it!” Darcy said, watching as the cactus monster slid towards them.

Jane did it. A flash of red light consumed them, the entire landscape. Warmth washed over Darcy like she was inside a circle of space heaters. Feeling returned to her legs, and her skin buzzed like she had one cup of coffee too much.

The light died and Jane had transformed. A red pen with a silver oval at the end had materialized into her raised palm, the key to future transformations. Her torso was covered in fitted Roman armor, plated with red metal that had a silver sheen. Plated skirt that reached mid-thigh, knee-high armored boots, gloves and arm-guards that reached the elbow, same coloring. The circlet on her head dipped into her forehead so that the stone-studded dip covered the symbol. The stone studding the dip was dark red, instead of Darcy’s moonstone.

Jane stared down at herself and her arms.

“Huh. Fascinating,” she said.

Darcy took off her tiara and wound up like a baseball player. The tiara vibrated with power and floated in the curve of her hand. She threw her arm and released the magic weapon over Jane’s shoulder, shouting the words her brain knew like muscle memory, “Moon Tiara Action!”

The cactus monster, who had been singed by Mars’s transformation energy but uninjured, gurgled as her head was sliced off by the spinning crescent moon. The monster didn’t explode on impact like the lesser monsters Darcy had fought when she was a teenager—oh no, the evil forces had started upgrading recently, those bastards. The monster’s body collapsed like a marionette whose strings had been cut. Seconds later, the green flesh groaned and started regenerating a head.

“We have some time now, but not a lot,” Darcy said, huffing and pulling strands of hair out of her face. “You okay, Jane? If you feel like throwing up, feel free, no judgment.” Darcy had thrown up after her first transformation.

Jane held up one of her arm guards and twisted her forearm so that the armor glinted in the sunlight.

“I feel great, actually,” Jane said. Her voice turned firm and fierce, the way it got when she was excited about something, a bloodhound hot on the trail of science. She held her arms up and curled her hands into fists. “I have no idea what’s going on, but I always knew there was more out there than people assumed, and that it had come in contact with this world. But this is amazing!”

“You bet,” Luna said, and her voice smiled even if her cat face couldn’t. “You are Lady Mars, the guardian of fire and passion. It’s up to you now to defeat this monster!”

Jane blinked at Luna. Apparently the talking cat was still the most absurd thing in this situation for Jane. Figured. She didn’t look queasy, at all.

Darcy grabbed Jane by the shoulders and spun her around. The cactus monster’s head had regrown and the empty eye sockets filled with green goo as they watched.

“Go, go, go,” Darcy said and pushed Jane forward.

Jane didn’t pause, didn’t even stumble. She breathed in deeply and drew her hands up to her face. Darcy couldn’t see what position she used, but heard Jane breathe the words, “Fire Soul.” Flame spiraled away from Jane’s face and swallowed the cactus monster up into a tower of spinning flame. The heat blasted over Darcy’s front and made her cheeks feel raw. The monster didn’t have a chance to scream.

The flames died and all that was left of the evil magic was the little toy cactus Darcy had bought at the airport before driving down to Puente Antiguo. It hovered in the air for a second and then fell to the ground with a hollow thud.

Jane turned to Darcy. She wasn’t sweating, she looked fresh and flushed.

“Okay, so that’s done. Explain to me all… of this.” Jane gestured to the both of them and their shining outfits.

Darcy decided to get this out of the way with the sparknotes version: “Uh, so we’re mystical, ancient guardians and we fight monsters. We come from an ancient, mystical world. I think it was alien? We’re trying to find our lost princess and our all-powerful crystal-thingy. There are more of us, but not that many. That’s all Luna has told me. She seems like a know-it-all but I think she doesn’t know that much.”

“Lady Moon!” Luna scolded.

“Oh, and my superhero identity is Lady Moon, by the way. Welcome to the club. You’ve upped our membership numbers to, uh, two people and one cat.” Darcy waved, like a dork.

“Huh,” Jane said again.

***

**Present:**

The next time she saw Barnes, it was two blissfully monster free days after the bird shop monster. The Avengers and Co weren’t having an official party or anything, but she was playing the role of Jane’s accessory to what was essentially superhero brunch.

There was an unending supply of bagels and coffee in the monstrous kitchen. The kitchen opened up to a lounge with a flat screen that practically took up an entire wall. A wide door-less closet in the right-hand wall contained all the video game consoles and movies a girl could want. Everything was gray or black, because Stark hadn’t gotten the memo that he was no longer a bachelor.

Darcy had been in the lounge a few times with Thor and Jane but never with the other superheroes there. She had met some of them a handful of times in the lab—Thor had introduced her with the “she tazed me when I was at my lowest moment” story, every time. This was different, this was big fry. She didn’t go straight for Mario Kart, like she wanted. Black Widow and Pepper Potts were talking on the couch, Widow dressed in a cream blouse and black pants and Pepper dressed in a pale yellow romper that she totally pulled off. Either of them by themselves were too intimidating to sit next to, let alone combined. The scientists three were occupied: Bruce was conked out in an armchair, Stark was snarking at Cap while Thor stood by and laughed at them, and Jane had drawn the Scarlet Witch into a conversation it looked like the younger girl was regretting.

Darcy hovered next to her still-warm breakfast casserole on the kitchen counter and tried not to shrink from the amount of heroism and deadly skill sets in the room. Her mom had taught her to always bring food to shindigs. This was because Lewises were hyper introverts or socially awkward extroverts and food was the best social lubricant. Alcohol was too risky. But Mama Lewis hadn’t prepared her for superheroes—and neither had Luna, who was her second, tiny mother. Lady Moon and Guardian stuff was still a secret to the world at large so she had no street creds in this crowd.

She figured it was best to stay low and try to not talk about the Constitution.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow shift. When she turned to the doorway to the hall, she found Barnes hovering at the fringes. His sweater today was cable knit, a light forest green, and looked soft. It fit him loosely and Darcy could see that he had pulled the sleeves over his hands when he crossed his arms. His hair was not tied back today so she couldn’t see his face from this angle.

Darcy squared her shoulders. She grabbed a little plate, a little fork, and served up some casserole. She marched across the room.

“Here,” she said.

Barnes’s eyes were wide and startled. Which made sense, since she had just marched up to him and thrust a plate into his space bubble.

 His sweater made his gray eyes look green. No, focus, Lewis!

“It’s breakfast casserole.” Maybe he thinks it’s poisoned. “It’s mostly eggs and cheese.” Why on Earth would he trust her? This was so stupid.

There was a moment in which he just stared at her and Darcy wished the ground would swallow her up. She knew what that felt like—a monster she had fought when she was 17 possessed some construction equipment at a sinkhole site. She had only survived because Luna had distracted the monster long enough for her to heave herself out by holding on to her Moon Tiara Action after unleashing the attack. The burn on her hand hadn’t faded for weeks. Darcy would take that burn over this in a heartbeat.

Then Barnes uncurled one of his arms and took the plate out of her hands. The fingers that peeked out of his sweater sleeve were flesh. His mouth quirked in the tiniest of smiles. Even that tiny smile transformed his face into something younger, lighter. Darcy felt her heartbeat in her throat.

He didn’t sneer at her in disgust like some Harry Potter villain. He didn’t throw her pitiful kindergarten attempts at friendship to the ground and shout “This is terrible!” like she imagined he would at 3am when she couldn’t sleep.

Darcy beamed at him and retreated to the kitchen.

She wanted to trust him, all aspects of him. Barnes was nice to her as Darcy, in a detached kind of way. He had never ignored her or had been rude when she awkwardly tried to make conversation in the lab before Stark’s scheduled arm tune-ups, he just didn’t want to talk much, and she respected that. But this was the first smile he had given her. Probably because he knew she liked him and didn’t want to embarrass either of them, that polite bastard. She was definitely going to (indirectly) give him peanut butter cookies.

She wasn’t fraternizing. She was… being friendly. She could use more friends than a talking cat and her fellow Guardian, who was almost like her big sister.

She did not have a crush.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jane. She's beauty, she's grace, she'll punch a genocidal Norse god in the face.
> 
> I know she seems like a weird choice for Mars, because she's all Science! But I love her as Mars. My soft headcanon for this fic, which may or may not make it in, is that Jane is psychic... except, she's so practical and focused, she interprets her certainty (i.e. awareness) of Otherness and Other Dimensions as being better at science than the modern science status quo. 
> 
> Also, there were some comments on the last chapter that wanted or recommended Natasha as one of the four main Guardians. I get it. Natasha is badass and beautiful. But she also (from the movies), seems aloof, calculating, and works a long game behind the scenes. She cares deeply and has a dorky side, but experience has taught her to hide this from most people. That sounds more like an Outer Guardian to me. 
> 
> But that can apply to a lot of Marvel movie women... because they don't exactly take center stage. For the four Inner Guardians, I want them to be supporting characters that have been forgotten by the movies or not developed that much (which is most of the women characters in my opinion). For that, I'm not going to use any of the main Avenger women for the four Inner Guardians (so that rules out Natasha and Wanda, only). Suggestions are appreciated, although I have a rough idea of what I want to do.
> 
> Upcoming, planned chapter will feature a flashback to London and then will not-at-all-subtly introduce the next Guardian. I'm using this fic to break my writer's block, so the "plot" devices are going to be kind of clunky. 
> 
> Each chapter title will come from lyrics. First chapter was from "The Moon Song" by Karen O. This chapter, and the next I think, will come from "Kept Me Crying" by HAIM.


	3. I've got no cover, I can't pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In London, Lady Moon and Lady Mars Have a Bad Day.
> 
> In the present, Luna is going to stop this funny, feelings business before it becomes a problem. A possible Guardian appears and Darcy feels awkward and awed.

**London 2012:**

The monsters did not follow them to London.

“What do mean, monsters are everywhere?” Darcy shouted, jumping to her feet.

They were back in the flat, in the living room, after defeating their first monster in England. This had been a different breed than the ones before—since Darcy was a teenager, the monsters had always transformed into creepy monster ladies after possessing random items imbued with someone’s memories or emotions. Fights with monsters had been brawls to the death, with a magical attack finishing it.

Today, the monster had possessed someone. It had still transformed into a creepy monster lady based on an object—a blue lady with white lines on her arms and legs and red streaks on her cheeks, and a dress with a skirt that was a huge umbrella with the British flag on it. But before the transformation, the monster was an unassuming shop attendant.

They still weren’t sure how it had happened. One of Jane’s science gizmos dinged a Weird Dimensional Bullshit Alert while they were out shopping for milk and eggs and led them down a narrow side-street. The woman had followed them, clutching her heart and wheezing. Purple smoke blew out of her mouth and swallowed up her entire body.

Darcy could still feel the shock chilling her forearms and in her back and chest. She was still loosely holding her new stupid space magical item—Luna called it the moon staff—in her right hand, even though she had de-transformed. Like the transformation brooch that she had turned into necklace, the moon staff was an item that stayed when Darcy was Darcy. Luna, like always, barely explained a thing. She just had it all of a sudden and passed on the magic words to exorcise the evil.

“What? Did you think there were monsters only in America, exactly where you were?”

“You!” Darcy stammered. There was something twisting in her chest, making the words hard to get out. Darcy pointed at Luna to help get her point across. “You said! You said that the monsters were following us!”

“They want to kill us, yes,” Luna said evenly. “Our goals are in conflict. We both want to find the princess of the cosmic guardians. We both want to find the silver crystal. But come on, Darcy, they’re not going to try to do that by only following us around. Killing us is the second part of a two-prong plan. Use your brain for once.”

Darcy didn’t have anything to say. She was too busy trying to wrap her head around a world full of monsters. She had always thought that she was the problem, that the Guardians attracted the monsters like assassins, or something. She didn’t have much of a life, she still hadn’t finished her degree, and the closest thing she had to a boyfriend was Ian, who was more of her science underling than date mate. She had thought that she at least kept the world safe from her stupid space destiny and the mysterious magical system no one else knew about or was deeply in denial about. Except maybe the jackbooted thugs at SHIELD. But they never turned up to stop monsters.

Turned out, her fights with evil had been like… chipping away at a mountain. With a nail file.

“Okay, so monsters are everywhere. We can table that problem for later. Why have they upgraded?” Jane said, breaking the tense silence.

“I… I don’t know,” Luna said.

Darcy snorted. “Tell us something new.”

Luna glared at Darcy and then shook herself out, black fur fluffing up.

“I’m going to go contact my, uh, contact. See if there are any new traces of the princess or the crystal. If the princess or the crystal’s power has awakened, that could explain why the enemy is taking more measures to stop us.”

“The enemy,” Darcy muttered, then flopped back onto the couch.

They knew less about the enemy than they knew about themselves. Guardians, monsters, enemies, Luna said it would all be explained when the princess was found. But Darcy has been doing this for eight years now, if she’s counting right, and she has learned… almost nothing. Found nothing.

“Let me know if I can help,” Jane said, flipping her hair out the way as she shrugged on a jacket. “Can’t deal with it now. I have a date.”

There was a knock at the door, supposedly the date right on time.

Two hours later, Darcy had flipped herself on the couch so that she was watching reruns of an old British variety show on the tiny TV upside down. Her feet covered in pink, fuzzy socks with little llamas on them dangled over the top of the couch. Rain drummed against the windows.

Darcy was considering her purpose in life and getting up for the last of the week-old chocolate chip mint ice cream when Jane came home. The door slam didn’t hint at warm, happy feelings.

Darcy could hear Jane puttering around, the rattle of her car keys in the dish and the thud of a purse thrown to the ground. Darcy tried to lift herself up to see Jane, but since she hadn’t done any crunches since she tried and failed at a martial arts phase in high school, didn’t get very far. There was a reason Darcy had a tazer, and why Lady Moon packed a magical tiara frisbee and now a moon glow stick.

“How was the date?” Darcy called.

She got a low, dismissive “Oh, fine,” in response. So, not fine then.

“Really?” Darcy said. She knew she shouldn’t go there, that today was a bad day and the best thing to do would be to go to bed and binge mediocre romantic comedies, but the rain was this irritating white wash of noise and the shock of seeing an innocent bystander turn into a monster had burrowed under her skin like a cold snap she couldn’t shake.

“I know why I’m a grumpy guts. You know, I always thought of myself as a Buffy? But I think we’re more of an Indiana Jones. Getting in and out of troubled and kind of racist stereotyped areas. All we do is look for ancient artifacts without a clue where to start. And don’t get me wrong, young Harrison Ford is smoking, but I don’t want him as a role model. It sucks that Thor hasn’t even sent you snail mail, but you’re a hot genius, you’ll land on your feet. _You_ haven’t wasted the past eight years of your life.”

Darcy didn’t know what Jane was doing, but she was making a racket with what sounded like pots and pans in the kitchen. Then the noise stopped and Jane appeared over the arm of the couch. The handle of a mug was looped over one of her fingers, and the heel of the hand attached was pressed against her hairline.

Jane’s face was clear, so she hadn’t been crying. Her dark eyebrows were furrowed and her shoulders were sharp, tense.

“Why do you have to… to… be the most,” Jane said, “all the time? I didn’t make you come with me. You volunteered. This is my research, my break-up, and I’m a Guardian too! You don’t think I want to help people? Do you think I’m happy that there’s this evil… phenomenon… all over the world? You’re not the only one not having a fun time. Shoot, I think I’m having a worse time!”

Jane turned away. Darcy heard her angrily rifle through a cupboard, probably making some of the Earl Grey they had bought that morning. Darcy flipped her feet down and sat up to get a view of the kitchen. Her head throbbed slightly as the blood settled back in the normal direction.

Darcy bit back the _I know, I’ve been guest numero uno to your pity party for the past months_  that wanted to come out and said instead, “So, the date with Fred was a bust.”

“His name was Ted and it was fine. Just fine.”

“You said that. Three fines do not make a hot date. Also, I’m pretty sure he said his name was Fred when he picked you up.”

Jane’s hands, and the empty mug they held, slammed down on the narrow counter so hard that Darcy was surprised the ceramic didn’t crack.

Jane sucked in a long breath. “At least I’m trying. I am trying to live my life despite stupid space destinies and stupid space boyfriends—” Darcy was proud for a second, she coined the stupid space insert-relevant-thing in their friendship, “—I go on dates! I have a career! What are you doing, Darcy? Do you have any plan?”

The pride in Darcy’s chest soured and sank down into her stomach, like a stone dropping down a long, dark well. And then the room felt hot and it was hard to tell what the source was. It could’ve been the anger tightening Darcy’s shoulders and ribs. Or the heat could’ve been Jane.

Jane didn’t apologize, didn’t feel sorry for poking what she knew was a sore spot even though Darcy knew she would later, which was the reason why Darcy wasn’t giving her a verbal smack-down right now. Instead, Jane was fuming, literally fuming, small pale tendrils of steam rising from her pale skin. The mug finally cracked from the combined pressure of Jane’s hands and their heat. Dumping the pieces onto the counter, Jane stormed off, her little feet stomping more loudly than seemed possible. Jane slammed her bedroom door, the second door slam that afternoon.

Jane wasn’t a super angry person but she wasn’t shy of conflict. Once she got heated up, she has learned not to stick around for the safety of the people and small objects around her. One time she got into a minor argument with Eric while trapped in the air-conditioned lab during a particularly hot day in New Mexico. Darcy had been worried that Jane’s Guardian-fueled frustration would overheat the machines and she’d have to make another supply run for duct tape. 

The British variety TV show continued to drone in the background. Darcy stared at the screen. The colors blurred in her tired vision. She took off her glasses to rub her eyes and then kept her hands over her eyes. The dark was soft and comforting, like when she transformed, like when she healed that woman this morning. The rain lightened and Darcy let the sound wash over her.

Minutes or hours later, she lifted her hands from her eyes and picked up the moon staff she had left on the cushion next to her. Like all of her Lady Moon armor and accessories, the color palette was silver and, you guessed it, more silver. Granted, there was some dark blue detailing on the handle that was as long as her forearm. She hadn’t gotten a good look at it, but when she brought it close up to her face, the blue lines twisted in what looked like vines and little flowers. At the end of the staff was a crescent moon the size of her hand, pure silver. Darcy flicked one curved tip and the moon spun on its axis.

The stupid thing would always be associated with horror for her, but somehow Darcy found it comforting to hold. Like its healing magic was strong enough to work even when Darcy was just Darcy. Warmth crept back into her toes and arms. She felt stronger, less hollowed out. The world was still shit, but she no longer felt like shit and that made it somewhat bearable.

Which, of course, meant it was time for ice cream.

The rest of the mint choc chip had a little bit of freezer burn but there was enough to make two neat offerings in mismatched bowls.

Darcy only knocked on Jane’s door once before going in, holding the bowls in one-hand. Working in her small town’s Chili’s for two months had been worth it, obviously.

Jane, the nerd, was cooling down with what Darcy called a “science nest” on her bed. Notes and data sheets were scattered across Jane’s lap on top of the covers and folders of more notes were waiting in a haphazard pile next to her hip. In Jane’s hands was her new gizmo she had started using this morning, which had pointed them to Umbrella Lady, and a screwdriver Jane was using to… screw in something. Darcy didn’t know. Jane didn’t not-pay her for her science skills.

“I brought you ice cream and you can’t refuse, because ice cream,” Darcy said. She held the bowl out and waited several moments until Jane huffed, rolled her eyes, and put aside her gizmo before pushing it into Jane’s hands.

Darcy crawled on top of the bed and planted her butt into a place least covered by papers. Darcy proceeded to suck down ice cream and Jane flirted with the idea with her spoon. It wasn’t ice cream from space, so Darcy knew Jane’s interest was going to be half-hearted.

“For the record,” Darcy said when she had finished her bowl. “I didn’t stay on as your intern to keep the Guardian duo together or because I have no plan for my life. We’ve fought monsters together and watched your hot alien boyfriend fight a robot when Luna decided that was the one fight we could skip. We marathoned Sandra Bullock movies when he didn’t come back. That was heavy stuff. I stick around because I kind of like you, you weirdo.”

She did not say: you’re my family. We’re different, but you’re the only one who understands and shares this terrifying destiny thing. I will always be here for you.

Jane snorted. “Thanks. I kind of like you too.”

“I’m serious! Besides, how would you even survive without me?”

“I’m a capable adult, Darcy. I can dress and feed myself, you know.”

“You ate pop-tarts for two days, Janey. If my mom knew that I let you live on pop-tarts for two days, she’d’ve crushed me like no monster ever has.”

She was exaggerating but it got Jane to roll her eyes again and push Darcy with her bird arms.

They were quiet for a few moments. Darcy stared at her empty bowl, the plastic cool in her hands, and Jane stirred circles with her spoon into her melted ice cream.

“I just wish he’d give me some sign. That he’s okay. That he hasn't forgotten his promise,” Jane said.

Darcy will not transform and kick Thor’s ass when she sees him next. Mostly because she thinks the big guy can take her, partly because she’s hoping he has a really good reason for the radio silence. But she will want to.

***

**Present:**

When Luna jumped into Darcy’s lap as she sat in a rolling chair in the lab, Darcy was pleased.

She had spent the past thirty minutes trying to earn her keep by organizing Jane’s notes in a way that made sense to any non-Jane Earthling, and it seemed that her good effort was being awarded with affection from her second, tiny mother.

Darcy wrapped her arms around the black cat and cooed, “Hi, Luna,” in a baby voice, just to piss her off.

“I found the tub of peanut butter cookies in the lab kitchenette,” Luna said, already sounding pissed. No one else was in the lab and they were turned away from the cameras, so it was conversation time, apparently.

“Uh, is that a problem? Ow! What—”

Luna dug her claws into Darcy’s leg through her purple skinny jeans. To anyone else, it would look like Darcy was cuddling with her cat in Jane’s lab—a common sight, Luna was weirdly affectionate at random times even if she rarely had anything nice to say.

“You cannot woo the Winter Solider,” Luna said. “He’s too dangerous. We might be able to trust Thor with the secret if he found out, but the Winter Soldier could still be taken by Hydra at any time.”

Darcy spluttered. “I’m not—I’m not wooing anyone! I’m awkwardly giving people food! And Barnes is included—ah, what the hell, Luna!”

Luna’s claws dug in deeper and she glared up at Darcy with yellow eyes. Darcy squirmed. Luna held on tighter, eyes narrowing.

“Okay, okay!” Darcy said. Luna’s claws loosened.

Darcy stood up.

Luna mewl-shrieked and Darcy yelped as Luna did not drop to the ground like she intended. No, instead Luna clung to Darcy’s legs.

“Admit you’re trying to woo the Soldier,” Luna hissed.

“Get off me!” Darcy hissed back, hopping on each foot. This only served to make Darcy’s thighs burn and her eyes water. Her glasses slipped to the end of her nose.

They faced off for what felt like hours but was only a minute. Darcy felt around behind her for the rolling chair and sat back down when she felt drips of warmth oozing out from where Luna’s claws were embedded into her legs.

Luna released and settled herself on Darcy’s knees as Darcy pushed her glasses back up and assessed the damage. She had deep scratches on her legs and lines of blood on the thighs of her purple jeans. The purple was light and the blood was a dark stain. The flesh on her thighs smarted with that strange, hot kind of pain you get from cat scratches, but it didn’t hurt too badly. Darcy had noticed that her pain tolerance had gone way up since she had started transforming into Lady Moon.

Luna’s face was very smug. Darcy scrubbed her knuckles over the cat’s forehead, a little too hard to be affectionate.

“You suck. You are the cat that has made me a dog person.”

Luna sniffed and said, “You’ll heal next transformation. Now, admit to the wooing.”

Luna never would have said something like “admit to the wooing” when they had first met. She had been too formal. It was this, and not the pain, that made Darcy give in.

“So maybe Jane is right and I do have a little crush,” Darcy confessed, lowering her voice to a hiss. “So what? At least I feel bad about it and if I’m wooing him, which I’m not, I’m not wooing him seriously. He doesn’t need an intern bothering him.”

In her mind, her guilt made her superior to the fawning news reporters, history nerds, and legions of Bucky Barnes Defense Squad fans. There was an actual trending twitter hashtag and everything. They weren’t terrible or anything, they just… demanded something from him. A quote, fact checking, attention.

“I mean, Luna. Luna. Babe. Do you realize that the only time I’ve ever seen him completely light up was when Stark threw away one of his virtual plans into a virtual trashcan like he was shooting a basketball? And to be fair, it was really cool, but not like, the source of all happiness, which is totally what his face made it seem like. You don’t demand attention from someone like that. If I have a crush, there is definitely no wooing happening.”

“Darcy—” Luna said, sounding like she regretted bringing this up.

“I kind of can’t believe myself, really,” now that she’s started, she can’t stop. These worries have been building since she realized how much she paid attention to him. “I should know better. Our stuff is nowhere near Barnes’s level but I’ve seen some weird, horrifying shit. I’ve almost died... a lot. But here I am, creeping on the traumatized, longest prisoner of war vet like some pedestrian trying to get a peek at a car crash. I kind of want to wrap Barnes up in bubble wrap, to let him heal in peace and shield him from the world and myself. Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird.”

Fuck, she sounded like some obnoxious, screwed up Victorian love interest. Next thing she’ll get married and stick her wife in an attic.

“Are you talking to yourself?”

Darcy looked up. Helen Cho was standing in the door to Jane’s lab. When Darcy looked back down, Luna had disappeared. Damn cat.

“It’s okay. I know that sometimes you can have the best conversations with yourself, especially when the people around you are… Tony Stark,” Helen said. She smiled and it was surprisingly cheeky. Darcy had seen Helen from afar. She and Maria Hill liked to do drive bys through the labs on this floor—Stark’s, Banner’s, and Jane’s—to coordinate science-sponsored Avengers support projects. Helen Cho had always seemed cool, collected, unflappable. But there was an actual twinkle in her eye and Darcy felt completely thrown.

“How much of my, uh, conversation did you hear?” Darcy said. She rolled her legs under the nearest science table to hide her bloody jeans. If Helen had seen the blood, she didn’t draw attention to it, which was nice.

“Enough.” Helen shrugged. “If it makes you feel any better, I enjoy Thor’s arms. That doesn’t mean I would ever pursue him or feel obligated to him.”

She left the room and Darcy was left reeling. Helen Cho was thirsty for Thor. Helen Cho used the word “obligated.” Helen Cho was nice. Helen Cho was Darcy’s new favorite person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I, personally, feel like Jane is the kind of person to say "shoot" mid-rant and be serious about it.
> 
> 2\. Helen Cho... was one of the best parts of Age of Ultron. If not the best. Natasha's "beep, beep" is a close second. I've only seen that movie once. 
> 
> 3\. Hopefully the next chapter will have more fun shenanigans and less Darcy considering her life. 
> 
> 4\. Chapter title from HAIM's "Kept Me Crying."


	4. You can count on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two separate, well-meaning people try to save Darcy. Emphasis on “try.”

“Hold on.”

Something—someone—had a grip on Darcy, unfamiliar hands curled under her armpits dragging her in an unknown direction. She couldn’t see who. There was something over her eyes. The darkness was everywhere.

She started thrashing, twisting her torso and swinging out with fists and feet. Her hands were empty. Where was the moon staff?

The hands on her tightened like steel bars.

“Easy. I said hold on.” The voice was rough but quiet, almost a whisper.

“I don’t exactly have anything to hold onto,” Darcy snarked, or tried to. It came out more than a croak, but hey, at least her voice was halfway working.

The person behind her chuckled, low and deep. She could feel the vibration through her back. There was an edge to the laugh, like the person was barely keeping it together. She was dragged farther. The ground bumped and slid underneath the heels of her weird space Roman-armor-ish boots.

Darcy tried again to open her eyes and found that there was nothing over them, they were just heavy as fuck. She struggled to flutter them a few times and was finally able to see.

The world swam and then condensed into something she could make sense of. She was in a parking garage. She was being dragged away from an absolutely wrecked elevator car.

Oh, right. Luna had tracked a monster to this building. The enemy had possessed an office worker working overtime and had transformed into a huge black and yellow stapler lady. Darcy had chased the monster through the closed building, the muted city lights through the windows enough for her Moon-enhanced eyes to see with. Her Moon Tiara dealt some damage, and she had been led into the elevator.

The cables had snapped. Darcy didn’t know how the monster had done it. All she remembered was the speed of the falling elevator, the sickening lurch of her stomach as she plummeted, the cold fear that tangled in her throat like a scream.

Mystery Person, who was probably a man but Darcy didn’t like to assume, finally stopped them several empty parking places away from the elevator.

“Are you—are you hurt?” Mystery Person said in the same tone of voice. They finally let go of her armpits, their hands moving to brace her shoulders so that she could sit up.

“Eh, I’m a magical being. Magical beings are always fine.” Her voice grew stronger with each word.

She actually had no idea if she was hurt or not, but she had never been seriously hurt on the job before. Luna always made it seem like an all or nothing situation—you either die while being a Guardian or the magic armor lets you walk away fresh as a daisy (if a daisy that has some bruises and aches or maybe a hoarse voice that only lasts for a day).

Darcy rolled her shoulders to shake Mystery Person off and hoisted herself to her feet. Mystery Person wasn’t handsy, per se, but did overdo the elbow-holding and helping her stand, as if that would fix the fact that she had been in a crashed elevator. Her body was sore all over and she wobbled on her feet for a second, but she was fine, no help needed!

The high ceiling of the parking garage shuddered above them, and a thin layer of dust rained down on their heads. Right, monster still at large.

Darcy stepped away from Mystery Person, spun around and did jazz hands.

“See! I’m totally—”

She stopped. She stared. In front of her was Bucky Barnes. Not the Winter Solider, oh no. Barnes was wearing street clothes, hoodie and green cargo pants, and sporting a man-bun. He had a five o’clock shadow that softened the sharp line of his jaw. He tensed as he met her eyes, his unmasked face hardening in a kind of wariness.

“Dude, it’s the middle of the night,” Darcy said. Shock stripped away her usual shield of snark and launched her into a weird mom-friend zone. “Don’t you sleep? Why are you out in your street clothes and not in protective gear? Don’t you usually stalk me when you’re in assassin mode?”

Never mind that he had never bothered to approach her like this before, when she was Lady Moon. He was one with the shadows, there and gone again while she fought and finished off monsters. Actually, he was like that at the tower too—never hovering too long, usually halfway hidden by Cap’s dorito body. What was he doing here? Was there other trouble, like Hydra trouble, out and about tonight? She was worried about him again, all at once, and it made her uncomfortable. She suppressed the urge to poke his chest to punctuate her questions, and also because she was too aware of how much bigger than her he was this close. At least he hadn’t adopted Cap’s penchant for tight clothing. His hoodie was comfortably loose.

“I don’t stalk you,” he said, insulted enough that some of his walls visibly came down. The wariness was swept off his face, instead he looked baffled. “I got here first. You’re always… showing up and nearly dying! How are you not dead! Where the fu—where is your partner? Shouldn’t she help you?”

He threw his hands up, gloved, and gave her the most wide-eyed, offended look she had ever seen. This was literally the most she had ever heard him talk.

“Did you just not curse at me?” Darcy said. She was trying not to smile. “That’s hilarious, dude. You’ve seen me fight, my fighting style is 50% swearing. And Mars is on her way. New York is sooo not a small city.”

 Barnes stared at her. “Mars?” he asked.

“My partner,” Darcy replied.

His offended expression retreated a bit, confusion filling in the empty spaces. A line crinkled between his eyebrows.

“And—and, who are you? I looked you up on Stark’s known superheroes list, but…”

Darcy blinked at him for several seconds. Darcy’s lack of an immediate answer seemed to rattle him and he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.

Well, shit on a stick. She should’ve known he hadn’t recognized her. The magic armor concealed her identity from humans, but still, she had thought that maybe the proximity would’ve allowed him to see past the magic… Or maybe the serum and whatever else Hydra did to him, which she can’t think about without wanting to tear Hydra down Godzilla-style. Luna and Jane wanted to keep their identities secret from him, but she assumed… she had assumed that the secret wasn’t necessary. That he had been helping (stalking) them for this reason.

“I’m, uh, Lady Moon,” the croak in her voice was back, “We, my partner and I, are kind of our own thing. Monster and evil fighters. Not Avengers affiliated. Not that we dislike the Avengers! Don’t get me wrong. But uh, yeah, this is our business. Don’t want to get the media all over this, which you know. Stark being who he is—”

Darcy coughed as an excuse to clap a hand over her mouth closed and will herself to _stop talking_.

Barnes relaxed a little and nodded.

He opened his mouth again but was interrupted by an inhuman scream echoing down the empty elevator shaft. Underneath the sound, Darcy could hear the echo of Mars’ voice calling out her attack.

“My partner is here,” Darcy said, pulling her hand away from her mouth and swallowing around the lump in her throat. Something sharp prickled in her chest and she shifted into the unaffected, business voice she used when she told Stark, no, for the fifth time, you can’t borrow Jane’s dimension warping machine thingy that looks like a demented printer. “Time for me to go do my job. Stay safe, okay?”

She didn’t wait around to hear his response. She ran for the elevator shaft and sprang onto the wreckage and jumped.

Her body floated up weightlessly through the narrow dark—a bonus ability she got after she started using the moon staff. Controlled anti-gravity, or whatever Luna called it. She followed the sounds of roaring flames and one screeching monster. She perched against the right set of elevator doors and pulled them open. Tracing her steps, she found the moon staff where she dropped it next to an overturned water cooler, illuminated by a narrow strip of light coming through window blinds.

There were two monsters this time. A stapler lady and a paperclip lady—the latter had snapped the elevator. But Darcy had been practicing her Moon Healing Escalation regularly since London and once Mars trapped them close together with a spinning fiery vortex, it was easy to whammy both of them at once.

She didn’t mention her near death or meeting Barnes to Luna or Jane on the subway ride home.

***

Darcy was good at making friends. Not so great with keeping them.

She had been the person at college well-known for being a great listener when you were drunk. A great person to chill with or go out dancing with. She had divided up her social time listening to aching confessions or group hanging at the retro, hipster arcade and daring people to drinking games. Her college friends had instinctively trusted her but hadn’t connected with her beyond that surface level trust—and how could they? She rarely bared her soul to others, even when she was drunk. She couldn’t, since her life was batshit crazy. She couldn’t commit to any meaningful relationship, platonic or otherwise, with anyone that wasn’t her iPod (her iPod’s name was Rick and he never let her down).

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Always a facebook friend, never someone’s weekly brunch buddy. The midnight pizza after science binges with Jane only halfway counted, since they were practically family now.

So when Helen Cho personally invited her out to brunch, she was pretty sure she was in a dream.

“A-are you sure? Me? Really?” Darcy asked, even holding up a hand and pointing at herself.

“Only if you want to,” Helen said, shrugging. She left Jane’s lab. Darcy craned her head around, noted that Jane’s head was stuck in a machine while she muttered to herself wildly, and hurried after Helen.

They went to the fanciest brunch place Darcy had ever seen, so fancy she was worried her lower middle-class Midwestern ass would spontaneously combust the moment she stepped in. Mirrors on the walls, tall windows with pristine white curtains, polished dark wood everywhere with decorative twists and shapes carved into ceiling corners, silver dinner ware. The host knew Helen and led them past the main dining room into a more private back room.

“Pepper knows the owner. She called ahead to reserve us her usual table,” Helen said as well-dressed waiters pulled out their seats and they settled in.

A waiter took their orders for drinks. They both ordered coffee and a silver carafe was brought out almost immediately. 

 “Pepper reserved the table for—us?” Darcy said. She wanted to say “for me?” but held back at the last minute. Helen seemed to understand anyway.

“She likes to take Maria and me out for brunch on Fridays, but today Pepper has a meeting and Maria is out of town. I suggested inviting you instead.” As Helen mentioned Darcy, she looked up from her menu and smiled, quicksilver and sweet, as if they were sharing an inside joke.

Darcy expected to be intimidated by brunch with Helen, in the two seconds she was able to think about it in the ride over when she wasn’t distracted by the fancy Stark chauffeuring. She had thought Helen’s movements would be precise. Helen was a beautiful genius and she carried herself with a quiet kind of poise. She wasn’t delicate or cold by any means, but Darcy was used to Jane. Jane, who slouched around in flannels and oversized sweaters, who scowled and muttered to herself, who was as likely to slug someone as hug them. She was the queen of impassioned speeches, science-inspired or angry (usually at least irritated, if not 75% pissed off). In comparison, Helen had always seemed like the definition of “put together.”

Instead, Helen was casual. She dropped whatever professional detachment she used around the tower and drank her coffee, cream no sugar, leaned forward with both elbows on the table.

Also, she was a huge gossip.

They had ordered. Darcy an omelet that was so fancy, she couldn’t think about it. Helen had ordered the soup special. They were just moving past basic small talk (Helen was here indefinitely to research Vision and other things too classified for Darcy. Darcy was here because she was the only glorified gopher Jane trusted. No, Darcy didn’t know what she would do once she had finished training up the other lab rats on Jane-ology and Jane had vetted them to her approval.)

It started when Helen’s phone beeped and she dug it out of her bag in a huff. Her small messenger bag was filled with folders and tablets, and Darcy wondered if she took her work with her everywhere. Helen set a thin paperback onto the table to clear space out of her bag to more easily find her phone.  

Without thinking, Darcy flipped the book to reveal its front cover.

There was a shirtless man. He was glistening. Around him was… space… and a raptor in a spacesuit.

“Space Raptor Butt Trilogy?” Darcy read the title, confused. She knew who Chuck Tingle was—she loved Hugo Award drama, like any self-respecting nerd—but Helen? Having a physical copy? Of internet meme gay erotica? Was impossible. Darcy felt faint.

Helen made a scoffing sound and tapped at her phone before putting it back into her bag. She tucked the book back, too.

“Agent Barton’s idea. Agent Romanoff started a book club and this is his month to pick the book. Why she let him have a turn, I have no idea.”

Somehow Darcy found the strength to say: “You realize you can get those books for free on Kindle, right?”

Helen shrugged. “I can’t stand eBooks. I already stare at so many screens for work, I don’t want to strain my eyes even more. A break is nice.”

Darcy stared blankly into space over Helen’s shoulder. The little gears in her head ground together as she tried to make sense of a universe where Helen Cho and Chuck Tingle’s work existed in the same breathing room.

“I think Agent Barton is trying to cheer Agent Romanoff up, in his own way,” Helen said, taking a small sip of coffee, drawing Darcy’s gaze back to her. She held the small mug close to her lips and said over the rim in a low voice, “She needs it, I’d say.”

Despite her shock, Darcy found herself leaning in. “Because Banner is off discovering himself, right?”

Helen nodded, lips pursed.

Darcy took the expression for polite disapproval and caught on. “I’m kind of glad,” she said leadingly. “I couldn’t see them together.”

Helen nodded again, eyes wide. Score for Darcy and her newly-discovered Helen-reading skills.

Helen set her mug down and said, very seriously, “Romanoff is charming but almost never lets down her walls. I have always been impressed with Banner’s integrity and kindness, despite his circumstances, but he takes things too hard or brushes them aside. I want them to find happiness, but…”

“But their separate types of baggage don’t really mesh?”

“Exactly.” 

Helen and Darcy smiled at each other and Darcy felt the high she has always felt when she met someone else who liked to talk about other people. She has never thought of herself as mean, or a gossip, but dammit she has eyes. She observed. She has tried talking about her coworkers with Jane—from Ian’s dorky, patterned socks that she actually kind of loved, to Erik’s pantless moods, to the way one of Stark’s lab rat’s nose whistled when he was really congested. Jane was into it, vaguely, when it was about someone she knew well but threw a dismissive hand over her shoulder about everyone else.

It was then, when Helen and Darcy were bonding past work acquaintances to best friends forever, that everything went to shit.

Darcy heard a clatter and turned in her seat to get a view of the door to the rest of the restaurant. A cart rolled into the room and in the doorway, collapsed on the ground, was their waiter.

Darcy had barely set eyes on him when Helen sprang out of her seat and ran towards him.

“Wait!” Darcy shouted.

She knew what was happening as soon as she saw the man down, some sense told her, even before she saw the purple smoke. It drifted past his lips, mouth smooshed sideways into the wooden floor, as if the man had been smoking.

Tendrils of purple smoke came out of the man’s mouth and began to snake over his body.

Darcy was frozen in her seat, the warm omelet and coffee in her stomach a hard knot. She knew. She’s seen this before. But watching someone become possessed never got easier. She was back in London, in that moment of powerlessness before Luna handed her the moon staff—when she thought she was going to be killed, when she thought that the possessed woman in front of her was lost forever.

Then Helen was there, kneeling beside the man and peeling off fistfuls of purple smoke. Impossibly, the smoke was solid in her hands and she threw it aside like streamers. Helen pulled and pulled and the smoke came to an end. The man coughed and regained consciousness.

“Get up, go!” she shouted at him and pushed at his shoulder as he gasped for air. The man was aware enough to listen and creakily got to his feet and hobbled away.

The pile of purple goo on the ground next to Helen squirmed and hissed. Helen calmly got up and very quickly walked back to their table, grabbing her bag.

She handed Darcy her phone.

“Call Stark and Banner,” Helen said.

Then she pulled out a pronged device and pointed it at the goo.

The goo rose higher into the air under its own power. Helen pushed a button, and when the goo kept rising, her eyebrows drew together and she pressed the button harder.

Nothing. The wall of dark purple goo started to creep slowly forward.

This was the first time Darcy had seen the enemy’s energy on its own, acting like something that had some sort of consciousness. The experience and the existential questions it brought up (why was it here? Why would God make something like this, if God existed? Was the whole universe just uncontrolled chaos?) was a lot.

Helen cursed in Korean, threw the device aside, and grabbed Darcy’s arm.

Darcy continued staring like an idiot as she was dragged out of her seat and to the back exit of the private dining room. Helen put her body between the goo and Darcy. Her hand was like a vice around Darcy’s forearm. In her other hand, Darcy could see Helen was fiddling with another tiny device. Darcy was pretty sure that no tiny, miraculous form of science was going to make a dent in this thing.

“Darcy, we need to draw this away from people, but I need you to help! Call Stark!”

For some reason, the second mention of Stark shook Darcy into action. That supercilious ass wouldn’t know how to do jack shit with this magic bullshit.

And there really wasn’t a way to go transform in secret without sacrificing Helen. And Helen was cool. If Darcy wasn’t such a dumbass, Helen could’ve run to safety and called Stark by now. Darcy sent a quick prayer to Luna to forgive her, and then another to Thor just to have her bases covered.

Darcy shook off Helen’s arm, stepped forward, and transformed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Chapter title from “Primadonna – BURNS Remix” by Marina and the Diamonds. 
> 
> 2\. It's been forever since I updated this. This chapter has been sitting in my drafts for six months! But life happened, what can you do, c'est la vie.


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